I just watched the movie, I'm Reed Fish, and I thought it was an amazing movie. There were so many thoughts, ideas, etc., that crossed my mind. We live and move in our crazy lives, especially being Americans with our incessant business, our schools, and yet we forget why we do what we do. We simply come to realize that realization is simply not in the cards of finding ourselves. We become what Descartes called an empty machine. We do what we do, yet we don't know why.
After that, I began to think of other parcels of my life. I began to think of my past. I thought about redemption. Now I don't mean of that kind of divine recollection or penance. I mean that unique union with friends and family. (It's funny what movies can do in their powerful voices.) I began to think of friendships I quit. I also remembered of an old relationship I used to have. I wish I could have ended things better. I wish I would have stayed her friend. (I miss her so much.) The movie, like I said, was an inspiration. I can't stop thinking of the melancholy it infuses.
It also helped me think about the worrisome attribute that I constantly succumb to. I thought about my all-too-rationalistic mind. I think too much—in that I know I am no skeptic. It helped me see into the basis for such questioning and inquisition (and I'm speaking of the Spanish Inquisition either). Sometimes I just need to let it go—my mind. I know this may seem like frantic worry or some sort of neurotic psychosis. OK, maybe I'm being a bit paranoid. But still. My mind works like clock-work, it never stops. I worry about the way I put things together. For instance, I was reading in my Lit book for English about this guy names Funes. He was an obsessed memorious (ironically the article was called "Funes the Memorious"). If ever there was a clinical term—and I don't doubt there is—I'm sure he would fit it.
And there was also this other I saw before I clambered to this on Netflix. I saw the movie The OC. The reason I saw this was due to the artist Schuyler Fisk (she plays guitar). She was in both movies. Although I saw this one on iTunes, it was still a great movie. (iTunes has the sad video quality that Netflix doesn't have to deal with.) I believe if I hadn't perused her, I might have gone to sleep. Maybe there was some nostalgic feeling I wanted to recollect in watching her acting. It was amazing, I thought.
Depression is a good emotion. It makes you think of the loneliest emotion you usually never muse in, even in a fuddled state.
