Toast! Here’s to You

It's morning and I just home from my graveyard shift. It was quiescent. I think that's the best of words that illustrate my night job. Today especially was a quiescent morning, due to the rain. For those of you who don't know what I do at night (esp. Thursday and Friday nights) I guard a theme park. It's a security job at Castle Amusement Park in Riverside. I've been doing it for a while—three years actually and going on four. On any note, I've thought of many things this morning. In particular biblical parlance, I read WSC 34, Heb.12:24 and Luke 8. Aside from that I was aiming at finishing my Latin studies on the second declension in my nouns, but chance got the best of me. Actually, since I don't believe in chance per se, I can't actually say that. Anyway, the point being that I never got around to doing what I planned. That's most of what I thought about this morning as I walked around the park, before the sun came out. There are so many things I wish I could have changed in my life. I've been thinking of someone who was dear in my life a couple years back. I think of her often. She's done a lot for my life than any woman in my life, aside from my mother and my sister, Brenda. This woman was a true love of mine, and she was also my best friend. I just didn't notice her while she was there. The point here, however, is that we don't plan for things that happen in our lives, the good, the bad and the ugly. I find that in my life the bad and the ugly rear their ugly heads in my life. I smile at it. What else is left to do? It almost seems like a cosmic joke! These things are truly devastating for a young soul like mine, but the reality of detriment and exultation exist to lift up my lowly soul. So then, what we don't plan we learn to live with, decisions (especially the bad ones) and our screw-ups. This is a brutal reality that I learned by my retrospective thoughts of the girl in my past. You've done a lot for me. Thanks. I appreciate you, no matter what. I wish I could be your friend, I really do. I'm sorry that I can't try harder. The fact is that I care about you far too much to want to be "just" a friend. However, these are the thoughts that embrace every aspect of our mutual lives: that life is full of choices we don't particularly like. Thank you. Here's a toast to life and the pursuit of happiness.