A Polemical Debate on Church Discipline: Dress code

So I have a conundrum with this issue of church discipline. Firstly, I am a Presbyterian member of a local church, so I understand the issues of church discipline. I also have a "growing pain" with people who think that they can be called a Christian and not be part of a local church. This isn't my problem, though. My problem has to do with the dress code of women in the church and how they ought to conduct themselves in the church, i.e., dress code ethics. I've been in a debate with some people who claim the name of Christ but who do not attend nor are under the discipline of the church.
These are the loci of the debate:

1. Women should not be infringed based of what she wears in the church, e.g., high heels.
   
2. Individuals with a personal problem ought not to impose upon the women in the church their personal convictions.
   

OK. I'll deal with these two in contrast:

1. The church should force a woman to change her clothes if it stumbles a significant amount of men in the church.
   
2. The women in the church should be considerate about her brothers' purity with two corollaries in mind:
   
   1. That she is there to worship God in word and deed and should exhibit that worship in her dress; and
      
   2. She should shop for clothes with the intention that is without bombast (=showy, flaunt or scandalous).
      

Those were just the reasons or methods of going about correcting someone. Also, I wouldn't suggest that any member of the church practice the discipline. I had suggested that if there are at least three or more people with a significant problem with the same person—her dress—then the elders should be notified. At this point, the people who espouse this cavalier approach of ignoring those who have the problem suggested that we can't as a church appease everyone. I took that point at face value and said fine. Even if there is a minority of men who struggle, I would say that it is a personal problem and they should deal with it; however, if there are as much as three people, then I think there is a problem. I recognize that this issue is roughly diagnostic and hard to prescribe, especially since the elders' authority is limited to holy living, but I still think its members ought to obey the elders of the church (see HC 85):

Quote:

Question 85. How is the kingdom of heaven shut and opened by christian discipline? Answer: Thus, when according to the command of Christ, those, who under the name of christians, maintain doctrines, or practices inconsistent therewith, and will not, after having been often brotherly admonished, renounce their errors and wicked course of life, are complained of to the church, or to those, who are thereunto appointed by the church; and if they despise their admonition, are by them forbidden the use of the sacraments; whereby they are excluded from the christian church, and by God himself from the kingdom of Christ; and when they promise and show real amendment, are again received as members of Christ and his church (Heidelberg Catechism, 85).

I believe it's the underlying attitude of certain Christians that really bothers me. It is cavalier and frankly too bombastically clothed in mutiny. If you have any suggestions and/or opinions contrary to mine, please let me know. I am open to correction.